Monday, December 20, 2010

December: 1 Tyler: 0

Well, December has been lol_brutal so far at the ol'l poker tables. I ran nicely last month and what Stars can giveth they can taketh away (even to their own pros, apparently). The amount of All-In EV that I'm out so far this month is painful but only tells half the tale of my runbad in December. Luckily, money hardly matters anymore thanks to a new currency that's getting stronger everyday-VPP's. I'm pretty sure that in a couple of years the value of 1 VPP will be worth more than 1 USD. With that in mind, there is some good that has come out of my losing sessions...I've played a ton of hands! I've earned 75K VPP's, leaving me with 65K more until I reach SNE. With 11 days left in the year, that means that I need to average slightly more than 5.4K VPP's a day to make it. However, I won't be playing on Christmas day or the 31st (planning on being in Whistler for New Years Eve) so if I want to get this wrapped up by the 30th, I'm going to have to put in a couple more monster sessions. Here's a few graphs since I've joined Team Online:

Last 3 sessions:

VPP's earned in December:

Month thus far:

So far I've been having a lot of fun at the tables as a member of Team Online. I really love to chat while playing and while I distract myself from time to time by talking, my sessions are more enjoyable and interesting.

Away from the tables, I've been running equally as bad with the young ladies. In my defence, I haven't had a lot of time to go out this month but when I have, it hasn't been pretty. I went out maybe a week ago to a country music club with a big group of people. Near the end of the night, most of the people had gone home to the point where it was just Miles and I remaining from our group. Actually, we were kind of being strategic about waiting for a couple of the guys to leave so that we could try and approach some girls with a more manageable number. Miles and I go out together a ton and we're usually awful wing-men for one another...I usually take the lead and as we approach two girls, I generally try to make the first move towards the more attractive of the two. Knowing this, Miles normally backs off a ways until he can make out what the second girl looks like and then bails if he's not lovin' it. More often then not, I'm usually left standing in an impossible situation where I'm trying to negotiate a dance with the 8 while her friend the 5 has no partner. At this point, Miles is usually back at our table or ordering another drink and we all lose.

Anyways, this night was different in that we were lucky enough to spot multiple cute girls sitting at a nearby table. The situation looked something like this...there was a big dude at the table, then a 7.5, a 4, and another 7.5. I was pretty nervous and felt rusty so I thought it would be a good idea to strategize with Miles before heading over there...this is how I recall our conversation:

Me: "Hey, how about those girls there, should we go talk to them?"
Miles:"forget it, you're just going to go up to the one on the right and I'll be stuck with one of the others."
Me:"Whoa dude, you like the one on the right? I like the one on the left!"
Miles: "Perfect."
Me: "Okay, should we go over there?"
Miles: "No dude, we have to wait for a gap."
Me: "A gap? Wtf are you talking about?"
Miles: "Yeah a gap. We need that dude to leave then we'll go."
Me: "Good thinking...okay he's leaving we should go. Wait, beer in hand or no beer in hand?!"
Miles: "No beer in hand, we'll leave the drinks here."
Me: "F*ck that, I say beer in hand, it looks more casual and like we're out for a stroll and not like we've come to creep on them."
Miles: "Ok fine, beer in hand."
Me: "Wait, if we get rejected, just keep on walking as if we were heading for the dance floor the whole time. Hey, are they eating popcorn?"
Miles": "Yeah, where the f*ck did they get popcorn?"
Me: "I don't know but I kind of want some. we should go now."
Miles (as I get up to leave): "Wait, dude let them finish their popcorn first!"
Me (as I'm walking over to the table): "There's no time! Grab your beer, beer in hand damnit!"

We approached the tables and Miles veered off around the corner to the right as I walked up and stood in between the 7.5 and the 4 with my attention focused on the left. I introduced myself to both girls and that's when things went downhill. For whatever reason, I couldn't carry on a conversation for the life of me. I'm actually getting depressed as I recall this night lol because the girl was obviously interested and was doing all she could continue our conversation. I told her my name and then stood there awkwardly. I said "hey, it looks like you have some popcorn there!" She said "Yeah, do you want some?" I said "No." *crickets* She then asked me if I wanted to come with her to get money out of the ATM, I said sure. Like an idiot, I waited until she paid the $3.5 service charge at the ATM before offering to buy her a drink. We then sat back down and the dude from earlier had returned and he had a mustache. I asked the girl if her friend was doing Movember...she said "Well no, it's December...I think he just likes it." I also may or may not have asked her if she participated in Movember. I mean I was tanked but that's still no excuse for being so stupid...Anyways, this girl was being really nice and is very cute but her friends got up to leave shortly after we sat down and she had to leave with them. She even told me that she was 23! and asked me if I wanted to exchange numbers but we settled on a Facebook add....should be getting that friend request any day now...

Miles didn't fare much better. It turns out the girl that he was talking to was like 30 and he accidentally insulted her by making fun of where she lives or something. The night wasn't lost, however, we did manager to find a 24 hour Subway before busing home!


  1. I wonder how well the facebook add thing will work. Maybe next time just give her your blog adress and tell her to drop a comment lol when she sees your a stars pro thats gotta be a panty dropper as long as she doesnt read other posts

  2. You need to slap Miles the next time he leaves you hanging, wtf for never taking one for you, assuming you'll take two for him.

  3. Ahhhh yeah Bungbert, I'm never leaving my house without a shirt on my back...I don't have time for 5/10's anymore, bring on the sixes!!

    Tilt: lol, I tell him this all of the time...except for the part where I'll return the favour.

    Duck: Naw, the Bourbon. Fun club, although it's in a sketchy part of town but whatevs.